What I've Learned About Myself - My Costa Rica Experience

What I've Learned About Myself - My Costa Rica Experience

I've learned a great deal about myself over the past few years through some very intentional personal development work.

I had some of it crammed down my throat while in my corporate life, such as being required to read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Who Moved My Cheese?, but those weren't things I chose for myself. 

I get the objective, but you can't make someone show up and be someone they aren't.

The real power comes when you desire change for yourself. When you know you want things to be different, so you're willing to do different things.

I knew I desired a change and made a decision for myself in 2021 that I wanted to create deep, meaningful relationships with like-minded women. This was a pretty HUGE decision, after not fully allowing myself these connections for more than a decade (see my previous blog "What's Love Got To Do With It?" for more details on this here).

To be completely honest, I floundered a bit with this decision until July when an opportunity came into my email inbox to join like-minded women in an extraordinary experience in Costa Rica. The email stated that only 33 people would be accepted on a first-come first-serve basis. And, I had two days to decide if I wanted in on this opportunity. 

For those of you who know anything about the world of Human Design, I have Emotional Authority. What this means is that I am meant to make decisions (big or small) when I'm in a neutral 'mood'. So even though I was out-of-my-mind excited, I got to wait to make sure this was aligned for me when the excitement faded. (Oh the decisions I've made from a place of excitement or despair, and how I now see how incredibly misaligned they were!!!)

When the day came to submit my reservation, I knew one of the spots was mine. How did I know? I just knew. (That's also a part of my Human Design!) I secured my spot for this amazing opportunity to be held in January 2022 for a decision I made for change in 2021. I knew this was going to be EPIC!

Fast forward several months to early January 2022. I had been on vacation to Cancun with six couples the first week of December. One of the twelve of our party tested positive for Covid before returning to the US. That experience led to a great deal of uncertainty for my upcoming trip to Costa Rica. So much doubt was going through my head. "Should I go?" "What if I get Covid while in Costa Rica?" "Am I being irresponsible?" "Is this a sign?"

I remembered my original desire for signing up for this experience to begin with. It was to make deep, meaningful relationships with like-minded women. So I checked in with myself when in a neutral mood and asked "do I still want this?" There was no question. So my decision was confirmed and off I went.

I must also tell you that EVERY PART OF ME wanted to book a room all to myself for my stay (10 nights), but if I really wanted to create deep, meaningful connections, could I truly give myself the opportunity to do that from the comfort of my own room? 

After all, a roommate would be someone that I'd never met, knew nothing about, and was going to be living with for 11 days.

If any of you have sisters...that kind of closeness can be A LOT to navigate!

In full disclosure, I almost requested a change to have my own room before I officially left for the trip, but instead I stayed the course. (No more second-guessing!)

And I'm so glad I did, because my life is forever changed. 

I made a connection with my roommate that I didn't think was possible in such a short period of time. 

I laughed like I hadn't in years. I shared things I haven't told anyone. I got less sleep than I have since my babies were born. And I wouldn't change anything. 

The connections I made on this trip didn't end there. I now have a complete community of like-minded women who speak the same language (aka Human Design) and have opened their hearts to each other in ways I could have never expected.

So what did I learn about myself?

I learned so much about my unique Human Design over those 11 days. Some of the things I learned I resisted at first, which includes that I'm meant to share openly and honestly the emotional hardships I've experienced in my life. 

So here I am, sharing them with you.

It's uncomfortable, yet freeing. 

I learned that I haven't let another female friend into my life all these years for fear I would get hurt again. Fear is a tricky thing. While many believe it protects us, I see that it holds us back. I will no longer be held back. 

I learned that I'm meant to share with others what I've been through, what I've learned along the way, and where I'm going from here...free of the fear of who it may hurt or how others may react to what I share. That is not my responsibility.

I learned that I haven't let myself receive support or ask for help, because so many see me as they way-shower and having it all together. 

News flash: I don't always have it all together and need help and support just like you.

I learned that anger is a sign post for me that I'm not doing what I love. Boy does this explain my corporate life! 

I learned that peace is what I'm meant to feel when I am doing what I love and have the freedom to do so. This explains my life now!

Bottom line, saying yes to this experience, and allowing myself to learn more about my unique design and what I'm here to do and share in this lifetime has allowed me to release the fear of creating deep, meaningful relationships with women again.

I will keep learning, connecting and sharing. After all, it's what I'm designed to do.