The Painstaking Reality of Not Enoughness💔

The Painstaking Reality of Not Enoughness💔

Let me start by saying that this particular topic feels very heavy on my heart.

I've witnessed so many beautiful humans experiencing not enoughness, myself included.

If you're not familiar with this term...what 'not enoughness' is, simply put, is the feeling of not being enough. 

According to some of my research, (and no, I will not be reciting my sources, which I HATED doing in school, but I will give credit to my good friend Google who never seems to let me down), not enoughness is a silent pandemic that feeds off our feelings of lack, shame, fear, and guilt. 

Yuck. It was hard to even type that.

Not enoughness hides in the dark corners of our mind, waiting for an opportunity to remind us why we aren't good enough.

So why am I sharing such a dark, painful topic?

Because when we shine a light on our shadows, we can begin to work through them, and I want the suffering I have witnessed to end.

I've experienced not enoughness more times than I'd like to admit. Sometimes it shows up without warning, where I'm triggered from an incident from my past that left a mark.

As the youngest of three girls, I never felt like I was enough. Even reflecting on the phrase "you're not old enough", which I heard a lot, left me feeling unworthy of whatever my older siblings could do that I couldn't. 

Then came sports, music, friends, relationships, college, career, parenthood...and on and on. 

Over the last few years, as I've been very intentionally working on my own personal growth, have I begun to realize the impact this has had on my life. 

Before doing this work, I thought that's just the way it is. But never talked about it. 

As a mindset mentor, I hear it regularly with my clients, and it's heart-breaking. 

We are all such beautiful humans, here are this earth to create love, peace and joy. 

So why is there so much suffering?

I saw this firsthand while on my retreat in Costa Rica in January. 

On our final night, our leaders led us in a ceremony to celebrate all we had learned about ourselves throughout our time together. At our seat, there were two pieces of blank paper and we were instructed to write what we were releasing (letting go of) as a result of our learning on one of them.

We all wrote feverishly.

What they didn't tell us was that we were going to share what we wrote with the entire group, using a microphone so we could be clearly heard. 

I was furious. This was personal. Private. Ouchy.

By the time the mic came to me, which was about halfway through the circle of 35 women, I had softened. My heart was hurting more for others than myself.

I couldn't believe the not enoughness that I heard from these beautiful women. 

Women that I believed were truly amazing and that I was in awe of.

How could they feel this way? I was shocked. Why didn't they see what I saw in them?

I made my way through what I wrote and listened to the rest of the women share.

That experience was almost 3 months ago now, and I still think about it. The pain I heard from each and every woman. It left an imprint on me. 

I don't believe we are here to experience this pain, and yet here we are. 

So why did I feel called to share this heavy topic?

Because I believe we can change this. I certainly know I'm trying.

We are ALL enough. Always. 

We have enough. We know enough. We are enough. 

On the second piece of paper provided at the ceremony, we were instructed to write what we were calling into our life...what we wanted to be experiencing. 

I do this practice daily and have for years now. 

So maybe we can start there? 

What are you calling in? What do you want to be experiencing?

And what might you let go of in order to create it?

I hope it's the feeling of not enoughness. 

Because it's simply not true. 

YOU ARE ENOUGH...exactly as you are.

I love you.💗